“Television is the
new movies,” expressed KTLA host, Sam Rubin, during his pre-show interviews on the
red carpet at this year’s 65th Emmy Awards.  With more and more A-list talent fleeing the big
screen and flocking to groundbreaking storytelling on a smaller one, it is
perfectly understandable that expectations would be especially high for tonight’s
show.  Enlisting the wildly talented,
Neil Patrick Harris, fresh off his stellar hosting gig at the Tony’s only cemented
our anticipation. So when we were treated to a opener that felt as flat as a pilot
that barely debuts before the network executives decide to pull the plug, we
were gravely disappointed.  Initially, it
had promise.  The reference to binge-watching
the entire season of television was spot on, as that is how it feels to most of
us in this day and age of never enough time and too many good shows, but the
bit was too long and the selected clips not compelling enough to hold our
attention.  As NPH stepped out of the
booth and on to the stage, we nodded along with the jokes, but were secretly awaiting
a show-stopping number. When it didn’t arrive, we were left still feeling empty.
Not until Kevin Spacey appeared on camera owning the show in complete “House of
Cards” character, did we crack a much-needed smile. For some reason, even the Amy
Poehler/Tina Fey (whom we typically love) popcorn-induced, team heckling from the
front row felt canned.  Finally,
halfway through the show, our song
and dance man, gave us what we have been waiting for, but possibly too little, too
Even cameo appearances by Nathan Fillion and Sarah Silverman
were hard-pressed to resuscitate the lack of energy in the audience. 
how many times do we have to endure A-list celebrities dressed down in their shorts
and tees as if that is naturally funny?  Who
decided it was hilarious to see Will Ferrell in this ridiculously casual outfit.  He’s presenting the final two awards of the
night – dress up for goodness’ sake – and while you’re at it, put your
offspring in their own mini tuxes too! 
There weren’t any
serious crimes that breached good red carpet manners, only a few misdemeanors.
  Here is our complete list of winners and losers
in the etiquette department, as well as a sprinkling of other thoughts we felt
were worth mentioning.

Colors Ruled the Red Carpet.
Wearing brilliant
shades of blue, actresses Tina Fey, Allison Williams and Edie Falco rocked the red
carpet in dresses constructed perfectly for their figures. A clean and crisp
white (even after Labor Day) was the chosen color by Taylor Shilling, Padma Lakshmi,
Emilia Clarke, and the stunning Kerry Washington who went with a
more embellished version. And not red, but a richer Pomegranate, was adorned by such knockouts as Heidi Klum and Sofia Vergara.

Wardrobe & Style Malfunctions.
What big event would
be complete without a mention of malfunctions in the appearance category?  Apologies in advance to all the uber-talented
ladies, but we could see a noticeable hair extension that went astray in Amy
Poehler’s pony tail, Tina Fey’s Spanx line was visible around the waistband area of
her dress, we were in constant fear that Juliana Margulies’ gown would fall to
the ground and reveal her breasts, and Anna Faris’ bright red lips did nothing but compete for attention with her canary yellow dress. Don’t even get me started on Lena Dunham.  The tattoo/heavy eye makeup combo with the print dress
doesn’t do her any justice.  She can be edgy and still look presentable by wearing a solid color in a classic cut and taking the less is more route on the makeup. The idea is to enhance the look, not fight with it.

Short Speech.
Accepting an award, let alone the
first winner of the night, is enough to give even the most seasoned vets the
jitters.  So when two time nominee, Merritt Wever, actually won the award for
Supporting Actress in a Comedy for Nurse Jackie, it was clear she was
overwhelmed with emotion and perhaps a little anxiety-ridden.  Her only words short and to the point, “Thank
you so much. I gotta go. Bye.”
 Was that a joke, we wondered?  Was it funny or awkward?  We couldn’t decide. Perhaps, both.

No Shows.
  No matter
how nice they may be in person, it always leaves the audience feeling a bit
jilted when thespians do not show up to collect their awards.  Both David Fincher, who won the award for
Best Director of “House of Cards,” and Laura Linney who won the category for O
utstanding Leading Actress in
a Miniseries or Movie, couldn’t be bothered apparently. 
Where were they?  Together watching the last episode of “Breaking
Bad” perhaps?

of the Word Crap.
This throwback word has endless meanings and is the closest thing to a
swear word without getting into trouble with the FCC.  Chanteuse Kerry Underwood let out an, “Oh
crap!” on the red carpet when she temporarily could not recall the name of her famous
dress designer.  And you couldn’t miss, “Breaking
Bad” show creator, Vince Gilligan, let out an exuberant “Holy crap!” when he
accepted the award for Best Drama. Both instances were innocently used, nothing
intentionally uttered that would make us feel uncomfortable like an actor saying, “Cut the crap” or ” I don’t need this crap,” or this awards show is a bunch of crap.

for Visible Gum Chewing. 
We happened to catch
Vera Farmiga chomping away during an unsuspected pan to the audience.  She is such a beauty and to be caught in the
act truly detracts from that.  And, poor Jeff
Daniels, who was already the upset win in his category for Best Lead Actor in a
Drama for “Newsroom,” but adding insult to
injury, no one was listening to
his acceptance speech because we were all too busy focusing on his incessant
gum chewing!  Yes, it’s of the utmost
importance to maintain fresh breath, but please remember to dispose of your gum
in a tissue before your category is called.

that Caused Turmoil.
 The In Memoriam
tribute is a staple in all awards shows, however tonight’s decision to
memorialize in depth only a chosen few, and then lump the vast majority
together in a video montage, was to the detriment of many. I suppose it makes
sense that respected actor, James Gandolfini who
unexpectedly succumbed to a heart attack and young actor, Cory Monteith, who
died of a tragic overdose were mentioned, but why single out Gary David
, Jean Stapleton and Jonathan
Winters?  There were at least a handful
of others who were veteran television icons that were somehow overlooked. One
such icon was
Jack Klugman – famous for countless award-winning television shows – whose son took to Twitter to express his unhappiness.  Unfortunately, the whole approach put a morose
tone on the entire show and left everyone with a bad taste in their mouths.
Lessons hopefully learned…

So there you have it,
but just so we don’t leave you with a depressed feeling, here is a final bit of
levity and camaraderie.  Michael Douglas
was a shoe-in to win Best Actor in a Miniseries for his portrayal of Liberace in “Behind the Candelabra,” but what was so sweet and genuine was that he sincerely
shared the award with his co-star and friend, Matt Damon, and managed to garner
some pretty hearty laughs with his unintentional  – and then intentional – references to a certain male body part and the golden statue.  We certainly chuckled. 

In the event you
missed it, here is a complete list of all the winners. http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/09/22/emmys-2013-winners-list/